toh

Let's see if I can start a new computer acronym... what do you all think? Help me out with it--it could catch on... toh. That's it. toh--no--not tangent=opposite/hypotenuse-- instead, it stands for Typing One Handed... I mean, 'lol' took off and stuck--what about toh? It could help with so many things...typing while nursing the baby, typing while holding the baby, typing while petting the cat, signing the kids' homework, drinking the giant alcoholic beverage that I always talk about and never have...(still breastfeeding most of the time...) typing while eating ice cream, crocheting (I can crochet one and wrong handed...knitting needs two...), talking to the guy in Bangladesh who's trying to sell me credit card insurance right now--you know, whatever butters your biscuit. (Not that--I can't believe you thought of that... shame on you all...)

Anyway, the best part of this is that it's a forgiveness phrase--like (sic) which basically says 'I'm too damned lazy to look up the word and I'm pretty sure it's been mispelled but I've been reading high school papers for so damned long I can't even fathom what the original spelling might possibly be.' Except 'toh' would be, 'forgive the crappy stupid ass little freakin' typos and please just look at that really brilliant thing I was trying to say but the baby grabbed the gas bill and I thought that was more important than perfect typing'. And then it could spread--become indicative of any foul up we perpetrate while under the influence of too much to do and too little time. For example, if we crash the car because we were exhausted from being up with kittlins all night, we could write 'toh' on the insurance report, or if we slipped up and dropped the F-bomb in class because our big asses knocked over a stack of quizzes we'd been looking for all week we could apologize to the complaining parents and say 'so sorry--I was so toh!' or if we said totally the wrong thing and offended someone we worked with because our eyes glazed over as they were talking (poor Satan--I really didn't intend to be rude but I was standing right next to a conversation about breastfeeding and that was a lot more interesting than the fact that my sophomores have no room for humor in their itty-bitty brains) we could shrug and say 'toh' and all would be forgiven.

I think it's an awesome idea--but I'm not really a leader. Remember that scene when Keira Knightly says to the pirates 'Come on--who's with me!' and the next shot is her, in the rowboat, all alone? Yeah--that's me. So I can only come up with the idea--I need leaders, people, limelight specialists, professional trendsetters to take this shaft of light and run with it until my humble little phrase, generated during the first 10 sentences of this blog, becomes so well known it becomes immortalized in that big honkin' dictionary whose only purpose is to drop on the heads of bad men who are chasing college coeds through dark and scary libraries. So what do you say--toh--toh--toh--toh... can ya help a totally toh'd sister out here?

(Unless, of course, it's already someone else's idea...well done, whoever you are...GO TOH!!! )