Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Randomosity

hmmm... in no particular order...

* My 2nd period class is so dumb that if I were to holler 'Everybody duck, it's a giant moron eating meteor!' When I emerged from my huddle under my desk, I would be the only one left alive. I LONG for that meteor to appear.

* After the meteor sweeps my room, I will happily lend it to Sweet Young Thing four doors down and the Lady In Red across campus... and maybe Satan will disappear in the backlash.

* Knitting little teeny baby socks out of that knit-picks sport weight parade sock yarn is worse than potato chips...you can't make just one pair...I'm suddenly so glad I'm up to my eyeballs in babies!!

* I'm so in love with those little baby socks, I'm going to make some for my baby... God her fat little feet are so cute...and in the words of the yarn harlot, they will eventually be good for 'a rollicking game of fetch!'

* I've invented rules for the trickster hero archetype that I've never found in a book. Damn... where's a freakin' masters class in English when you would look really good in one?

* I hate my grammar text so bad and am so disgusted with some of my classes that I'm two centimeters shy of embarking on the famous F-word sentence diagram, which entails putting the sentence "He f-ing f-ed the f-ing f-er that f-ed him." on the board and then identifying how the F-word is actually used as the four main parts of speech. (1. adverb 2. verb 3. adj. 4.noun 5. verb) Of course, I would be fired shortly thereafter, and you all would be hearing a lot about the unemployment line which is probably even less pleasant than my job, so I"ll be putting that idea on hold until the absolute last resort.

* The Yarn-Harlot is having pirate day-- fun patterns. However, the beanie with the skull and crossbones on it is the ult. I'd make it for my oldest son (age 13), but he just requested a pair of socks for his SIZE 13 EE WIDTH FEET. It's a good thing that I'm liking socks right now, because unless I double the yarn, I could be working on those puppies when he's in college.

* I get to watch the 13th Warrior with my 6th period today. If the back row stops talking, I may keep my will to live.

* The baby woke up this morning for a double-sided feed before I pumped...that's like making a picnic lunch at night to take the next morning, and having your kids wake up and eat it at 2 a.m. I could be wrong people, but I think she's ready for solid food...

* My friend who is reading my draft got to a scene I'm particularly proud of today while we were eating lunch. She flushed, shouted 'No' into a whole other conversation and wailed 'no, no no... oh, okay...it'll be all right.' I'm carrying the glow from that moment in my pocket for the whole week. Maybe books don't need to match like socks after all.

See you next time, when we answer the age old question: Is there a right answer or a wrong answer when you're discussing literature?

4 comments:

Roxie said...

"He freaking freaked the freaking freaker that freaked him?" What's wrong with that?

Feeling a little less neurotic aabout the book now? Told ya! You write wonderfully well!

A moron eating meteor? Oh, please don't send it my way! Without the morons to assist, I'd be out of a job.

Julie said...

I had an English teacher once tell us "You lie down, but you get laid" to help us keep the lie/lay thing straight. She didn't get fired. And I remember it twenty years later. I say, diagram that f-ing sentence.

My daughter started on rice ceral at six weeks, because it was the only way to go longer than an hour without her crying for food. Go for it, and good luck. That's a mighty cute baby. Is there anything better than pudge??

That lady in red said...

Hahahahaahha! Satan would probably be RIDING the damn meteor! Hopefully she'll combust right along with it. I was given the f'ing sentence diagram in my Spanish grammar class in college. It was hilarious, and effective. Although, with the clientele we sport, they'd probably get lost in the profanity and miss the point entirely, and then you'd be fired because no one with the authority to make that decision has a sense of humor.
And I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better about the book. I knew you would be. Feet don't always match, why should socks?

NeedleTart said...

Love the F-ing sentence! I work in an elementary school that isn't all that thrilled when I tell the kids I'll be out the next two Fridays for the Jewish (gasp, stunned silence) holidays. Administrators are just the pointy-haired bosses of the education world!