Thursday, October 12, 2006

On an exceptional peanut gallery, and why I shouldn't do math...

Okay, first off, hats off to Roxie!!!! I need to do links, I know, and I'm typing from work so I don't have the web address, but Roxie got out and rustled up some interviews and some publicity for her FANTASTIC book--, Sorceress Apprentice, and she got an article written about her, and I am soooooo proud and happy for my internet friend that I almost danced a jig in the kitchen for her last night when I got the e-mail. She gives me hope as an independently published author--and makes me feel just the teensiest bit guilty about being dark and twisty because my books are full of dark and twisty things and she has such a sunshiny, wonderful soul that her book glows without them.

Secondly, I'd like to give a shout out to Julie for doing a knit-along--it looks really interesting and she's very talented and anyone who hasn't seen the jacket she'll be walking you through will be left breathless.

Of course Lady in Red and Rae get kudos just for being teachers--power to the sisterhood, y'all... we all share in the pain... and to tam-tam for passing my class and laughing at my jokes...

And now moving on to address bells and Stephanie--both of whom I love to death in a strictly electronic way, and who had a little disagreement yesterday about math... I thought I'd clarify my stance on this controversial subject... because I think math is great--I really do.

For knitting and people way smarter than I am.

Would you like some examples of Amy Lane math? (Or Shanny Mac math, depending on who I am today?)

I once yelled at my son because he had seven pairs of pants at the beginning of the year, ripped holes in the knees of two of the pairs, out grew two more and, dammit, should have had five pairs left to choose from.

My husband frequently tells me we have a hundred dollars left in the bank at the end of the pay period, and I think that's enough to buy milk, gas, fast food for three days, an outfit for the baby, diapers and yarn.

I have yet to figure out that buying books from actually decreases my income.

I still believe that I only spend 2% of my yearly budget on craft supplies.

I have yet to add my daughter's request for yarn into her allowance because it makes me all headachy.

Although at last count there were only six people living in my house (and two of them don't eat much) I keep buying groceries for ten. And running out of food.

I have no fewer than 4 calendars in my classroom. I NEVER know what day it is.

I passed college physics by writing word problems to explain how I WOULD get the answer if I knew how to do the frickin' math.

I keep telling people I'm thirty-four. And believing it.

I once started the flared portions of my daughter's sweater sleeves three inches late because I added 3 and 2 and got seven. It's okay though, I made the same mistake twice.

However, as bad as I am at math, I can't beat the California education system in sheer ineptitude, because only a smog-vomited brain-shot prickweenie would think that thirty-six kids in a classroom is not too damn crowded to teach.


Julie said...

Oh, join the knit-along. I'll do the math for you.

And don't feel bad... I put the peanut butter in the fridge last week and spent two days looking for my glasses, which were on my desk the whole time.

Starfish said...

Yeah, I sometimes my math skills are akin to yours, particularly when it comes to the yarn budget (2% HA THATS FUNNY). But I am able to do some fast talking to the husband, ending with something like, "trust me, we're good", and since he knows better than to challenge me in all things accountingwise, he keeps it shut.

Love ya ta death too dahling...I could tell you were my kinda peeps from the very first comment ya left me!

Roxie said...

Shazam! Thank you, you generous Dear Heart, for the celebration, kudos and blog coverage! Ohhh. I am smiling all over my face!

(Twisty sells! You're good at it. Stick with it, babe!)

I totally understand pasing physics with essay answers. Wonder if math is easier with calculators? (God, I'm so old!)

The Lady in Red said...

Sweet! I love kudos! And I'm about as efficient at math as you are. Something about language teachers and the word wiring in the brain me thinks!