Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Nagging little questions...

I'm home today while the baby gets her shots etc., and trying to not be totally exhausted and get some housework done...ha ha ha ha ha...that's a good one...me, get some housework done... anyway, my brain is sort of doing the jumping-bean in a ping-pong thing and I can't settle down to my original rant on why the California education system is butt-f--ing stupid and so are all the people shouting 'test scores test scores test scores' like those zombies in the mummy going 'Imotep, Imotep' and anyone who has any real personality starts mumbling 'Imotep, Imotep...' just to not get pulverized. I think I may get back to the rant later--it's always on the backburner...

But back to my nagging little questions:

Why is there always an hour wait to get shots for children? I don't understand why they would push more well baby appointments through the doors than they pointy needles and poor nurses to give the shots.

Why are we testing kids on more grammar than their teachers know? Put six English teachers in a room and run them through the 11th grade state standards on grammar and they will look at you funny and say "why in the hell does anybody need to know that shit?" And these are people who have masters degrees and write novels and articles and crap--for criminies sake who needs to know the slippery difference between a 'that' used as an adjective, a pronoun or an adverb, as long as there's a few other words in the sentence to clarify things.

What kind of flavor-crack do they put in hummus? Seriously--so addictive, should be illegal--garbanzo beans alone could not do that.

How does a two year old get in-freaking-somnia? Seriously--I'm pulverized. Last night I just gave up, made him snuggle with his father (because I can not sleep when someone's touching me) and hogged my side of the king-sized bed. He needs to work it out and go to sleep. For serious. For real. I dosed him with motrin this afternoon just to get him to take a nap (well, he appearsw to be sick too...I'm not that bad of a mother...)

Why does a toddler's snot run in perfect even white-green rivers right into their mouths? Don't answer that. Erase it from your heads.

How do I overcome my addiction to sock yarn? (Like anyone tuning into a blog called 'a-yarning-to-write' would want to figure out an answer to that question--I might as well ask about overcoming and addiction to that pesky oxygen drug!)

Why can't we seem to take more pictures? My precious little one is growing up before my eyes...it hurts me to think about how big she's grown between bad snapshots.

Who do I have to drug, sleep with, or kill to get a freakin' agent to return my damned submission packets? Seriously? And since I put my blog address on my query letter, if any of you are out there, you're welcome to answer...and although the unflattering photos of me are totally accurrate, I will point out that I'm perfectly capable of sucking a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose. All right, forget I said that. That was crass. Forgive me. But seriously--can you smell the desperation here? (And I swear by my Mate that I was only kidding...)

What kind of disaster is my classroom in right now? Last time I left it to a sub, the damned sub responded to my warning about my awful classes with a sweet little note about how "an organized environment tends to minimize the chaos" (i.e., my classroom was messy.) In the wake of that note was a classroom that was trashed, new text books face down on the floor, and a candy box that was, HELLO, short forty dollars short in candy... my first written sub complaint in 14 years, people...no one pisses on me in my own damned house.

Why test scores, people? Why in the name of all that is holy and some things that aren't, do we have to stake the futures of our children on tiny lead dots on a scantron? Of all the crimes our leaders are guilty of, turning education into a game of connect the dots is possibly the worst and most costly crime of all.

And, the last question of them all... can I stuff a nap in here between the blog and taking the daughter to soccer practice? I'd sure like to try!


Roxie said...

Even a nice lie-down with the eyes closed counts for something.

Sock yarn does not spoil, become unfashionable, or cease to be functional if not used quickly. And, as we need a large number and variety of words in our vocabularies to be creative writers, we need a good, healthy yarn stash to be creative knitters. Three hundred pounds is a good starting point.

With four kids and a full time job, it would be amazing if you got in one good photo a year. Cut yourself some slack, Momma!

The tests have nothing to do with the education process. These tests are all about giving bean-counters a measuring stick to beat us with. If you know of a better measuring stick, speak up. The bean-counters gotta have something.

Tam Tam said...

Bad day? Things can get ugly I do agree... Hold your head up high, smile, and flip off the world when it's not looking.

Rae said...

As a fellow K-12er, I can assure you the whole country is fucking insane about standards. Drives me absolutely bananas.

Hang in there!

Starfish said...

Hmmm...sorry but I have no answers for you. But I'd be interested to know if you find out one for the sock yarn thing (I just joined Socktoberfest). And I can't sleep with someone touching me either!

The Lady in Red said...

I left my classes in the hands of a sub on Tuesday. When I returned, I was greeted by my department head, telling me that my sub was 20 minutes late, barely spoke English and had to have that one lady across the hall help him figure out my lesson plans (which were typed, copied and laid out in separate folders for each activity with keys no less so he didn't even have to think. All he had to do was breathe, but apparently he needed directions for that too.) Once I finally entered my classroom, I found a lovely little note telling me what I SHOULD be doing with my classes on Wednesday to follow up on the lessons he decided to give my classes in my absence, which were totally f'ed and complicated and not at all what I had left for them.) So yeah, that was fun.
And I'm a grammar kid. I love grammar. I think it's useful, to a point. But we don't teach grammar to the degree that is needed for the kids to pass that stupid test. No one does. The whole testing thing is ESTUPIT! (As my father in law used to say.)
And I am also guilty of the no picture taking. I feel like a huge jerk on occasion when I realize how much I have missed with the camera. I just hope I've taken enough for him to know that he had a good childhood. Does that make sense? I'm tired and feel like crapola, so forgive me if it doesn't.
I really need to come get a crocheting lesson from you. I'm pathetically untalented, but longing to improve.

Julie said...

I hate what testing is doing to the public schools. Some day maybe we can all get together, drink, and rant for hours.

Anyway, the 'flavor crack' in real hummus is tahini, a garlic/sesame seed paste that you CAN get at specialty stores. I don't suggest drinking it straight, but you'll want to when you smell it. MMMmmmm.

Catie said...

I went through elementary school during a time where they just wanted to let us 'express ourselves' as a result my grammar and spelling were horrendus (still are to some extent). But it sounds like the method you have to use isn't much better.