Monday, December 04, 2006

Scum-yuk, eating crow.

So, everybody remember that # in my post called "10 Things" where I said "Find the things you love the most about you and your family. Revel in them--they are what will get you through seeing the worst of yourself in your child" (or something like's only two posts down!)

Anyway, one of the things I love the best about my oldest daughter is that she's steady. School is not easy for her--she's bright, but not quick, with none of those intuitive leaps and wildfire 'get its' that made my own school life both fun and precarious. In order to get her good grades and succeed in her High Achiever courses, Bryar has to work very hard--she's an averagely intelligent hard worker, she's going to kick ass and do great things, and I admire the hell out of her. She gets this from her father's side of the family.

Okay, now take a deep breath, no one's allowed to say anything nice to me me after that, because I have done a BAD THING.

I have taken great pains to not mention family--mine or Mate's--too much on my blog. I hate the thought of offending anybody, and unless it's something I'm pretty sure we'll all laugh at, I try to keep them out of it. That being said, imagine my complete mortification when Mate told me this morning, "Yeah--my dad saw your blog. He didn't take kindly to being called 'averagely intelligent'. I think that's why he hasn't called lately."

Oh Goddess...did I? Oh...yeah, not only did I, but it was posted in my viewer profile for six months, and, holy God, I REALLY HAVE BEEN NAKED IN PUBLIC FOR SIX MONTHS, HAVEN'T I?

I'm not sure what to say now. I mean, I thought the idea that I would fight to the death to keep that man would imply that this was a compliment--maybe you have to be the biggest nut in a mixed bowl to appreciate how truly lovely 'average' is.

'Average', to me, is equated with the following things:

**The 'average' student in my class, who is pleasant, kind, works hard, and has a thousand things to do besides obsess about their grade.

**An 'average' income does not put it's retirement in dvds, books, or yarn.

**An 'average' childhood means never being told that rice mixed with ketchup is Mexican Rice, because those were the only two things in the refrigerator. besides the left-overs of what was once a pet rabbit.

**'Average' means never knowing what powdered milk tastes like.

**It means never having to scrape the inside of your car for catfood money.

**If you're 'average' you're not planning to spend your retirement that same thing--only planning to eat the catfood yourself.

**'Average' children come home to clean homes and dinner on the table at an appropriate time.

**They eat from matching silverware and matching placemats and tablecloths.

**'Average' children don't have to help mom with the larvae on the ceiling or take turns using the one bathroom because the other one has been eviscerated for three months.

**'Average' children learn how to clean and cook from mom, and aren't farmed out to other people because mom is hopeless at both.

Mate was provided with an 'average' childhood, much of which I envy to the bottom of my toes, and I regret that I have not been able (through my bizarre temperament, mostly) been able to provide the same for my children.

So, I've insulted perfectly nice people who have shown me nothing but kindness by my below-average grasp of human nature, and I feel awful.

In fact, I feel like scumyuk.

This is me, Scum-yuk. Eating Crow.


The Lady in Red said...

I hope they understand.

Rae said...

Isn't language so subtle and ellusive! What's average to you is very different for another person. I hope your FIL reads your post now and "gets it." Or at least steps up to being an "average" person and forgives you.

Roxie said...

As S.I. Haiakawa said, "What we have here is a failure to communicate. IF your actions speak to your respect for your FIL, then perhaps he will let actions speak louder than words.

Coach Susan said...

Average = normal = happy (usually) = good

It's a shame FIL felt bad about that word. I understood what you were driving at in your description of your husband's family. In my opinion, you took a word (average) that can often be construed as less desirable (unjustly) and redefined it as something close to perfection.

NeedleTart said...

Do you think the de-valuation of "average" is do to the Prickweenies? It seems that no-one is satisfied to be a regular, dependable person. I hope your family realizes how important those average, get-through-life-without-taking-advantage people are.