Twas the day before Christmas and nothing was neat,
The house was a pit, and the children wouldn't eat
Anything but milk chocolate and sugar so sweet...
The baby was crying after being woke from a nap
By her brother the cave troll who was rooting for crap
In the dark of her bedroom which will never be light
Since the heater men all of our circuits did fry
When installing the ductwork for the thing with the heat
Which makes our house cold and costs more than a jeep.
But the cave troll he found a suitable toy
To occupy a psychopathic three year old boy
Which turns out to be something his brother would enjoy.
Big sister is busy cleaning out her room
And clearing the place of post-guinea pig gloom
Dad's fast asleep after spending his night
Wrapping enough presents to ground santa from flight.
Mom's on the pc, indulging in chat
From folks who forgive her for skinning the cat.
Yes our house is in chaos, we can't see the floor
The front kitchen table looks like it's been in a war
And there's clothes in the clean pile that don't fit anymore
(Of course some would fit mom, if less fat she did store)
But all of that's butter, with eggs and some cream
Which means that it's cake, because happy we seem.
In spite of the the braces and the heater and cat
My kids all are joyous, and you just can't beat that.
So Santa, keep coming, please excuse the mess
We may be a disaster, but my family's the best.
Give the kids what they wanted--they're good girls and boys
And give dad some more sleep, to his immense joy.
Forgive mom her madness, both thank you and please,
And bless us with gladness, and bless you for peace.
Happy Christakwachanukafestivuramadivoli everybody! (