Monday, July 31, 2006

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Roxie's sacrifice of the Lindor balls must have worked, because we not only made it there and back again but the house was still standing and the animals still breathing when we returned. I told my B(eloved) S(pouse) that the last five days were the quietest my creative brain chatter has been all summer, and I think that's the hallmark of a successful vacation, so I guess it's a good thing we went. Of course, now that we're back, I've got two and a half weeks left before I go back to *shudder* work, and that's hard to face, so I think I'm going to do the following.

A. Recap vacation. With pictures. And commentary. Because it's obligatory and we had fun.
B. Try, for the remainder of my summer blogs after this one, to remember one funny/inspirational school anecdote per post that will remind me that I love teaching because of the students and that the clueless, imagination deprived, anti-knitting pro-hypocrisy adults who obstruct my path to the students can take a bath in the crapper while I flush.

Ready? Okay!

So... vacation moments:
At the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Trystan went for long explores. I think the big guy was really tickled that he is old enough for us to say "meet us under the big whale at 4:00" and then he can go to movies and tell us about them. I'm glad he got to do this, because, quite frankly, BS and I got to see very little of the actual aquarium, because BS was too busy chasing the cave troll, and I was too busy pushing the stroller that was loaded down with six people's worth of assorted crap, and one tiny person. So basically, when Trystan WAS with the family, he spent his time doing this:(I'd insert a picture of Trystan chasing the cave troll, but my browser isn't working...c'est la vie.)

In fact we all spent some of our time chasing the cave troll-- after I took off to feed the baby (more of my boobs in public--good times!) Matt (BS) and I met up again and he showed me pictures of Kewyn playing in the interactive center of the Aquarium...sort of. (Curse you browser for making this so less cute and amusing than it would be if I could actually upload ACTUAL PHOTOS!!!) There were a lot of pictures of Kewyn's eye, or his fuzzy head, or his backside as he took off, usually followed by a picture of his older sister hot on his tail. "Yup..." Said Matt with a wince, "There's a lot of pictures of Kewyn on other people's cameras." And right after he said that, as though the gods were listening and laughing cruelly, Kewyn dis-a-f*&^ing-peared.

We couldn't find him. I stood centrally, complete with the overloaded stroller and snoozing baby, and ordered Matt and Bryar and Trystan into search patterns around the aquarium which was PACKED and tried not to fall completely apart. I must have maintained just a little (there were no Hollywood longshots of me screeching my son's name in a totally crowded public place, if that's what you're imagining) and I flagged down an aquarium employee asking for help, and she directed me to the information booth. In fact, all four of us searchers converged on the information booth at the same time, and there was Kewyn, grinning unrepentantly and playing with the little shark toy he'd conned from the gift store people when he'd toddled in asking for help. ("He wouldn't tell us his name." Said the matron at the info booth with palpable disapproval. "His name's Kewyn--I'm sure he tried, it's just hard to say." I replied, trying not to fall weeping to the floor in relief. The lightbulb went on over the matron's head and she looked on me with much less reserve, as though now she believed I was worthy of that completely charming little person who had placed himself in her care.) So it ended well, but Matt and I both agreed that we're definitely not living to ninety now because that moment took at least ten years off of our lives.

Bryar got to go scuba diving as part of the aquarium's scuba program, and it looked like a lot of least we hope it was fun...when she was done Matt asked her (a little wistfully) if it was neat,and Bryar replied (a little laconically) that it had been coooooldddd and then had dropped fun litte details about the experience like golden kibble for the rest of the trip. But I think she liked it... and at least she has something to talk about at camp. Oh, yeah...because, yes, we got home last night, did a truckload of laundry and shipped the pre-teens off to Camp Winthers this morning... I hope they have underwear, that's all I can say.

Oh yeah... and as for Arwyn? She spent the trip collecting admirers. Think I'm kidding? BS and I LOST TRACK of the times I stood with her looking over my shoulder, only to turn around to a crowd of people making eyes at my "adorable baby" or my "precious little angel"... and, for this trip, SHE WAS JUST THAT!!! (Damn that browser...I've got the cutest picture of her in the little hat I finished using Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino that was so adorable it would make you cry and it won't #$$##@#$$$## upload!!!!) Anyway, besides making me flash my boobs a lot in public (the side effect of breast feeding never mentioned in the brochures) she was perfect--she was cute, she didn't get a sun burn, she didn't have a poopzilla in a public place (flash to me, changing the cave troll's diaper on the counter of a tiny bathroom at the Bubba Gump Shrip Co., begging every woman entering the two available stalls to give me another handful of toilet paper because I forgot the f*&^ing wipes)... and every night, we laid her down in the top half of her bassinet which doubled as a carrier for crackers and juice in the car, and she slept like...well, like a baby, which is usually like a hyperactive gorilla hopped up on cocao beans, but, in this case, was really like a peaceful, innocent, cuddly, happy infant who brought only sweetness and light.

It was the cave troll who slept like an oranguataun on meth. We sent the kids off to Camp with bags under ALL of our eyes...I hope some of us get a nap today... Maybe tomorrow I'll have pictures, yes? We can only hope...


Roxie said...

I am SO glad the Lindor balls worked. Have to think of an appropriate cave-troll sacrifice to the kindly powers. Hmm - Maybe a whole bag of gummy worms?

Welcome home and blessings on Mr. Washie. Can you imagine our foremothers running that load through the wash kettle and scrubbing it clean on the board? Oh my achin' back!

Starfish said...

Yikes! I got stressed out just reading all that!