Hello, gang--(Rae, glad to have you back, Needletart, it's always a treat--everybody else, you knows I luvs ya:-)--anyway, I had one of those conversations with my (step)mother that brought me right back to highschool and trying to explain why the oatmeal sweater made me look stacked and not fat...I lost that argument, by the way, not because I didn't believe in my newfound hooters, but because mom had instilled just the tiniest bit of doubt in me, and every time I put on the sweater I had visions of my copious fat rolls spilling out at the sides. (When I think about how skinny I was in high school as opposed to what I am now, I just want to weep.)
So back to yesterday's conversation:
Mom: "So...blogging, I don't get it."
Me: "You know, it's sort of like an online diary."
Mom: "But who wants to read your diary--how boring!"
Me: "But it's better than that--the good ones are like Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry or Mike Royko--those columnists who could comment on the world at large by commenting on their own interests..."
Mom: "Still don't get it...who wants to read that crap?"
Me: (changing subject with desperation) "So I might be able to publish BOUND before Christmas after all."
Mom: "Well, good, I think--did you tone down the sex."
Me: *sigh* "No. Hey--Bryar's been losing a lot in soccer:-)" (Notice how mothers don't hesitate to throw their daughters to the wolves? It's a time honored tradition--don't knock it.)
Anyway, the conversation got me thinking about why I blog... and I came up with this list, which I'm going to painfully stretch to ten items in an attempt to look like a real writer. Should I start from the bottom, like David Letterman? Too bad, I talk too much for only 10.
15. Because I talk to much period. This way I have to make sense.
14. Because I've already got 'self-aggrandizement' down to an art form.
13. Because this way I can prove I write about something besides sex.
12. Because 'cranky' is charming in print.
11. Because if you don't really like me, you don't have to visit my blog, and if y ou do visit my blog, you must really like me, and who can turn down reciprocal admiration like that?
10. Because if I put 'knitting' on the blog title, I don't have to explain that Glitterspun is crap, wool is a religion, and knitting socks is a calling of the highest order.
9. Because if I put 'children' on the blog, I don't have to apologize for all the bragging that is about to ensue.
8. Because, whether I put 'writing' on the blog or not, I don't have to apologize or explain when I'm talking about crapweasels, prickweenies, or what crawled out from under a demoted demon's ass.
7. Because my students don't get my jokes.
6. Neither do my children.
5. Neither, obviously, do my parents.
4. Because my Mate DOES get my jokes--but he's tired of hearing them.
3. Because if I write the voices down I become an 'artist' instead of a 'lunatic'.
2. Because 'too much yarn' is worse than a four letter word--and you all get that.
1. Because the only cure for rampant insecurity is to share.
So why do you all blog? Whether you have blog or just like to read other people's, I'd love to hear your reasons...
Amy Lane Out:-)